A Series of Coincidence
by highmaintenance
Summary: Loretta Burns, Frank's youngest daughter has just completed her first week of teaching in a new city. Whilst relaxing at a nearby bar she meets a strangely familiar woman. Fairly graphic femslash. Erin HunnicuttOFC. Oneshot.


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own MASH or anything related to it.**

**This idea has been brewing for some months now. I wanted to write a femslash with two of the daughters of MASH characters. So here we have Erin Hunnicutt and Loretta Burns, Frank's youngest daughter. Can anyone guess why I decided on the name Loretta? ;-) It is set in the year 1972.**

**So yes, the usual 'rules' apply. If you don't like slash, turn back now. If you do like slash, please leave a review.**

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Loretta Burns collapsed at an unoccupied table in the nearest bar she could find and let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush.

She had just completed her first week of teaching English - to a rather unruly bunch of tenth graders - and figured she deserved a drink.

_Maybe I'm not cut out to work in the city,_ Loretta thought resignedly.

A rather attractive waitress approached Loretta and asked for her drink order.

'Oh, um, just a scotch on the rocks thanks.'

The waitress smiled sympathetically down at Loretta.

'Rough day?'

Loretta sighed. 'Rough _week_.'

The waitress chuckled. 'In that case it's on the house.'

'Oh I really couldn't, but thank you.' Much to her embarrassment Loretta could feel herself blushing.

'No I insist. I'll go get it for you right now. I'm off in five minutes anyway, my boss won't know.'

Without bothering to hear anything to the contrary, the waitress turned on her heel and strode over to the bar; blonde ponytail bobbing behind her.

Loretta let her gaze linger on the woman's legs, slightly longer than was appropriate. She really was quite beautiful: big blue eyes and long Californian tanned legs. She couldn't have been older than 21. Any younger and she wouldn't be working in a bar.

Before Loretta could contemplate any further, the waitress returned with her drink. She placed it down gently in front of Loretta and the brunette couldn't help but notice that, from this angle, she had a lovely view of her cleavage.

'Thank you.' Loretta mumbled, sipping delicately at her scotch.

The waitress flashed a smile. 'No problem, enjoy.'

'Would you care to join me?' Loretta asked, before she could stop herself. _What are you thinking Lorette? There isn't a snowballs chance in hell that she is gay. _

To Loretta's surprise, the blonde blushed and appeared to become rather flustered.

'Oh, I really couldn't impose.'

Loretta scoffed. 'Impose upon what? I'm drinking alone after all.'

'I guess that's true.' The waitress cleared her throat and peered over at the bar. 'Just let me go tell my boss that I'm finished for the day, okay?'

Loretta nodded. 'No problem.' She held out her hand. 'I'm Loretta Burns by the way.'

The waitress took Loretta's offered hand. 'Erin Hunnicutt.'

Whilst Erin went to alert her boss, Loretta contemplated over her surname; which rang about twenty alarm bells in her head.

_Hunnicutt, Hunnicutt. Where have I heard that name before?_

_Aren't there twins in my class named Hunnicutt? Maybe they're related!_

Erin returned with a purse slung over her left shoulder and a glass of red wine in her right hand. She sat across the table from Loretta and grinned coyly.

Loretta decided there was no beating around the bush. 'Erin, do you have any relations to a Benjamin and Jessica Hunnicutt?'

Erin's expression changed from surprised to apprehensive in the space of a second.

'They're my brother and sister. How do you know them?'

Loretta laughed. 'I'm their English teacher!'

Erin didn't seem to find this very amusing. 'Oh God, I apologise for my brother. He's going through a…_stage_ at the moment. It's my uncle's influence I think.'

Loretta sighed and took another sip of scotch. 'In all honesty, he hasn't exactly been a treasure to teach. Which is a shame because he is quite intelligent.'

Erin shook her head in exasperation. 'His last teacher said pretty much the same thing in his report card.'

'Did you know that he smokes?' asked Loretta, almost tentatively.

Erin nodded. 'Oh yes, he steals cigarettes off of my uncle whenever he visits. I don't think mum and dad know. They would kill him. At least dad would.'

Loretta thought that Erin was getting agitated, thinking about her wayward sibling, so she changed the subject.

'So are you working here full time?'

'Part time, I'm at college training to be a doctor. It's kind of a family tradition. My father is a doctor and my grandfather and great grandfather were all doctors too.'

'My father's a doctor too. But uh…he's not a very good one. My mother divorced him after the tenth lawsuit.'

Erin looked horrified but Loretta laughed.

'Don't worry, my father and I…we're not close. From what I've heard he deserved every single one of those lawsuits and then some.'

Erin looked thoughtful. 'Okay, this might be a long shot, but is your father Frank Burns by any chance?'

_Well, that was unexpected._

'Yes he is, as a matter of fact. How on earth-?'

Then it clicked. Hunnicutt.

'Oh my God, you're BJ's daughter aren't you?'

Erin laughed. 'Yes! Jesus, what a coincidence! What are you doing in San Francisco anyway? I thought you lived in Indiana?'

'I needed to get away from my family, they were driving me insane. Especially my sister. So I came out here. My God, Erin, I haven't seen you since you were about three.'

Erin put her hands out in front of her body in a 'look at me' gesture. 'Well, I'm all grown up now. Just turned 21…that would make you, what, 34?'

Loretta frowned slightly. '29 excuse you. Do I really look that old?'

Erin moved her chair closer, reaching tentatively out to stroke Loretta's brown curls. 'No, you don't.'

Loretta inadvertently leaned into the touch but caught herself before she closed her eyes. Jerking away awkwardly, she cleared her throat and suddenly became very interested in the bottom of her glass.

Erin didn't appear to be fazed. At least her voice sounded normal.

'So why did you stop coming to reunions?'

Loretta looked up into Erin's blue eyes and momentarily forgot the question.

Erin frowned ever so slightly 'Loretta?'

The brunette started. 'Oh, well, after the first reunion my parents got divorced and mum moved away with my sister's and me. After awhile Amelia and I stopped visiting him, so we didn't see the point in going to the reunions.'

'That's a shame, they are so much fun. You know what I found out this year from Dr. Winchester?'

Loretta shrugged.

'Dad and Uncle Hawkeye had an affair when they were in Korea.'

Loretta stared at Erin for a full minute without saying a word. So her father's rants had a basis of truth after all.

'Dad always suspected something was going on with those two.' Loretta chuckled. 'Don't you find that weird to know that your father slept with a man?'

Erin sighed. 'I was more freaked out by the fact that Dad cheated on Mum, rather than the fact that he has homosexual tendencies. It does explain why he was so understanding when I came out though.'

_Oh my God, she __is__ gay!_

'You're a lesbian?' Loretta muttered.

Erin nodded. 'Yep.' She hesitated. 'That, um…I mean that doesn't bother you at all does it? Because I will understand if it does.'

Loretta shook her head. 'No, not at all, that would be severely hypocritical.'

Erin smirked slyly. 'Are you about to confirm my belief that I'm gonna get laid tonight?'

Loretta blushed again and felt as flattered as she did embarrassed. 'Oh God, am I that obvious?'

Erin nodded and flipped her ponytail flirtatiously. She lowered her voice seductively. 'It's dangerous to flirt with a woman when you don't know her orientations, Loretta.'

'I could say the same to you, Erin.'

Erin winked. 'I have exceptionally good gaydar.'

Loretta raised an eyebrow in confusion. 'What on earth is gaydar?'

'You haven't heard that expression? It means you can pick a gay person from a straight one. I haven't been wrong yet.'

'It can't be that great if you failed to figure out that Hawkeye was fucking your dad.'

Erin appeared shocked to hear Loretta use that kind of language. Certainly she was a soft spoken, rather geeky woman most of the time but Loretta felt that there was no longer any need for subtlety. Erin had seen to that as soon as she had outed Loretta.

Erin's shock quickly dissipated, to be replaced with a wicked grin that showed off many of her brilliantly white teeth.

'Well, if you're going to be crude…what say we get out of here and have some fun?'

Erin slowly ran a hand up Loretta's thigh and the brunette was suddenly annoyed that she had decided to wear jeans that day.

'I'm assuming you live in a dorm with several other people?'

Erin nodded and ever so slightly ran the very tip of her tongue across her bottom lip.

"I was worried it would be too rude to suggest your place. But since you've offered …"

Loretta chuckled as she stood up and collected her purse. 'What makes you think I wouldn't have taken you to a motel?'

Erin grinned devilishly. 'I thought that might be a little too risqué for you, Loretta.'

Loretta opened her mouth to protest but, on second thought, shrugged and nodded. 'You're right. Come on, I'll call a cab.'

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As soon as Loretta shut her front door, Erin slammed her up against the wall and kissed her hard. Loretta responded immediately, tongue lashing against Erin's, teeth biting and nails clawing at her back. God, it had been so long since she'd kissed anyone like this.

She felt Erin begin to unbuckle her belt and once again cursed herself for wearing those damn jeans.

'I…need you…now,' Erin panted between furious, wet kisses; a sign that she too was becoming frustrated with the belt. When Erin finally bit down on Loretta's lip, the brunette yelped.

'Hold your horses, Erin.'

In one swift movement Loretta unbuckled her belt and, pulling down her panties and jeans, she practically jumped out of them.

Erin chuckled approvingly and ran a delicate hand up Loretta's milky white thigh. Loretta moaned when Erin reached between her legs and teased her wet outer lips ever so slightly. These feather light touches weren't enough, not nearly enough and when Erin refused to do anything more than tease, Loretta became frustrated and turned the kisses into biting nips.

Erin smirked. 'Shall we take this to the bedroom?'

Loretta nodded and led Erin to her small room. There were still cardboard boxes lining the walls and the bed had not been made that morning; but Erin didn't seem to care. She pushed Loretta down onto her bed and began unbuttoning her shirt.

'Fuck, Loretta. You're so beautiful, so innocent.'

Loretta let out a small moan when Erin finally freed her of her blouse and bra. Her left nipple was immediately taken into Erin's mouth and sucked into a hard pink bud.

'Oh God, Erin…I need you…now!'

The younger woman looked up at Loretta through lustful blue eyes.

'How badly do you want me?' she muttered.

'Very badly,' replied Loretta.

Erin clucked her tongue and began to kiss, lick and nip her way down Loretta's torso.

'Not…good…enough.'

Erin stopped just as she got to the mound of coarse black hair.

'Please, Erin…don't stop.'

Grinning devilishly, Erin flicked her tongue lightly over Loretta's clit, eliciting a moan from the older woman.

'You like that? You must…you're so wet.'

Erin bent down again and slid her tongue slowly from the bottom to the top of Loretta's pussy, smirking when she felt the brunette buck her hips uncontrollably.

'Oh God, Erin!' Loretta whimpered, grabbing a handful of sheets in both fists.

She felt Erin's tongue slide across her clit again and her orgasm began to build. Loretta had never been good at giving oral; she was always clumsy and unsure. Erin, however, was obviously very skilled in this area. She licked and sucked on Loretta's clit, and the borderline feeling of pain and pleasure overtook Loretta, as she squirmed and writhed, begging Erin for release.

Just when she thought she would pass out from need, Loretta came; hips bucking violently as she screamed Erin's name, waves of orgasmic pleasure overtaking her.

'Oh God.' Loretta breathed, slumping onto the bed. Erin crawled up beside the brunette and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

'So you enjoyed that, huh?' Erin wiggled her eyebrows Groucho-style and Loretta couldn't help but giggle.

'You are amazing.'

Erin smirked. 'I got that when you were screaming my name.'

Loretta sat up (with great difficulty, as she was still in post-orgasmic bliss), threw one leg over Erin so that she was straddling the younger woman and kissed her passionately.

Loretta's hand found its way up Erin's skirt and pulled her underwear down.

Throwing the red thong across the room, Loretta began stroking Erin's pussy, which was growing wet with her need.

When a finger brushed against her clit, Erin moaned deep in the back of her throat. Loretta lent down to kiss the blonde and thrust two fingers deep inside her, making Erin gasp in shock.

Loretta fucked Erin hard with her fingers, thumb brushing over her clit and her juices spilling into her hand. They kissed hard, all teeth and tongue to match the viciousness of Loretta's fingers. Erin didn't seem to object to the merciless thrusting as she kept groaning for Loretta to go harder. The brunette added a third finger and bit down on Erin's lips, tasting blood. She could feel Erin's hips bucking and Loretta knew she was close to coming as her breathing became louder and heavier.

With a cry of 'Oh, fuck' Erin came hard, muscles squeezing Loretta's fingers as she kissed the older woman with fervour.

Loretta rolled off Erin and tentatively put her arms around her. Erin was panting, blonde hair sticking to her forehead, looking thoroughly debauched and sated.

Loretta placed a kiss on Erin's neck and closed her eyes, completely relaxed.

'You know, despite the fact that we just slept together, I still have to report your brother to the headmaster.'

Erin laughed. 'Oh damn, you saw right through my plan.'

'What do you think he'd say if he knew you just slept with his teacher?'

'Oh God, he'd probably ask Father Mulcahy if he could join the priesthood. Something about being scarred for life.'

Loretta chuckled. 'Well, one less student to worry about.'

'This is true. Now shut up and kiss me.'

END

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**Please review!**

**Until next time, Abyssinia!**

**Lucy**


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